I have been a teacher for the last 13 years. Before I became a teacher, I worked in child care at a preschool for 5 years. I have wanted to be a teacher since I was in junior high school. I wanted to teach for the same reason that most teachers go into teaching, because I loved children. I have wanted to be a mother since I was 17 years old and teaching seemed the best fit for that dream since teaching is just about the closest a career can come to mothering. I became a mother almost 8 years ago and since then am learning how to navigate this special journey as a teacher/momma. One of the things that my first principal came to know me for was the advocacy that I would do for my students. If one of them needed something, I would go to whatever lengths I could to get that for them. I really thought that when I was teaching before I became a mother that I was sympathetic and understanding with parents. I would try to see their perspective and put myself in their shoes. But, it wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I even came close to understanding a parent’s perspective. As a teacher/momma, I probably still don’t fully understand or appreciate the perspective, needs and situation of parents who are not educators. But, I am certainly more empathetic as I traverse this education journey with my own daughters.
As I am writing some of my blog posts on the Science of Reading and the Pillars of Reading and as I focus more on growing my blog and the purpose behind it, I am finding a growing passion for helping parents understand that they are their child’s greatest advocate. I know as a mom that I often struggle when the girls are sick with knowing what to do or even how worried to be. That is one of the reason’s I appreciate the group and blog Med School for Moms. As you may be able to imagine, if you’ve read many of my posts, I have not purchased any of their classes or courses. But, I have downloaded several of their freebies and just really appreciate the no nonsense, natural based remedies they talk about. AND I love the fact that it is a doctor/mom who is giving the advice and recommendations. Their mission is to equip moms with the knowledge they need to give them the knowledge and strength to blend with their mother’s intuition to advocate for their child’s health. Reading their articles and downloads, living this life as a teacher/mom, having a child who struggles in and with school, helping my sister with some of her questions as she homeschools and my mom as she foster parents various boys has helped me clarify my passion. I want to give parents more knowledge and resources so that they feel capable, prepared and equipped to advocate for their child’s education.
Parenting is hard! You have this amazing, tiny person you are responsible for. They are an incredible gift and you want everything to be as close to perfect for them as possible! But, even from the very beginning you are struggling to understand what exactly their needs are. You wonder, what does that cry mean, should they still be sleeping, why won’t they sleep, are they too hot or too cold, are you holding them too much or not enough? Are they developing correctly, fast enough. When should I worry if they are not doing the same things as their peers. Are they delayed, slow, growing, independent, dependent? All of these thoughts and concerns swirl around in your head because you absolutely love and are wholly devoted to this little miracle that you are somehow supposed to know how to take care of. Then, as they grow, they develop their own ideas of what your care should look like and that brings a whole new set of concerns and difficulties. When my oldest daughter was a baby I heard someone say that parenting was like having your heart outside of your body walking around. I don’t know if I was just too busy trying to survive her infanthood, she was high maintenance and I went back to teaching when she was 4 months old, but I just didn’t feel that way. My mom watched both of my daughters when they were too small for school, but as soon as they were old enough to go to pre-k, they went to school. When my oldest went to school that saying resonated so deeply within me that it caused some pretty major pain. Then once she started to struggle with school, behaviorally from the moment she walked through the doors and academically from the middle to end of kindergarten, I was beside myself to make things better for her. Through this struggle to help her do well and fit the mold of school, I became acutely aware of how I had missed the mark as a teacher to understand and empathize with parents. This daughter fit the mold of “she gets away with it somewhere” perfectly to explain her behavior struggles. But the thing was, she didn’t. I mean, my husband and I are not perfect parents and I am sure that she gets away with things she shouldn’t. But, we are pretty conservative and some would say strict parents and there is no free-for-all in our house. She was just born very determined, very stubborn and very ingenuitive. She is VERY intelligent, but reading is a HUGE struggle for her. She has always gotten good grades, but her standardized and overall tests are always low. I became passionate about understanding reading because of her, I am compassionate to students and parents of those students who struggle with behavior because of her. At the same time, I am EXTREMELY protective of her. If her heart hurts, mine breaks. If she struggles, I am undone. My heart is literally walking around this world very determined that she knows exactly what to do and can handle it all on her own. And I am following behind, going before and trying to be around to make sure that she can. On the other hand, my second daughter is doing very well in school. Behavior expectations are easier for her to meet and she is EXTREMELY intelligent. But, she does not reach her full potential because it is very hard for teachers to find the time to extend learning for their top students. She also loves to please, so she will sit very sweetly and learn the second or the 10th or the 100th time what she already knows in order to please and help her teacher. So, it may not be evident to them that she needs something more.
These struggles have made me want to help other parents whose children need more or different things in their education. If the fact that I am a teacher can help them answer an academic question, give them the correct questions to ask when they know there is a problem, but don’t know how to ask for help, I want to do that. Parents do know their children the best, if they are involved, loving and focused on their children. I don’t know exactly why this is true since sadly, parents generally get to spend the least amount of time with their children. This happens because of things like school and sports and even things like children’s church and Sunday School. These are good and even great things, but they are equal SO MUCH time spent apart for families. I guess it’s still true that parents know their children best because they are never just one of anything to a parent. We see them at their worst and love them anyway. When we see them at their best we know that is what they’re meant to be! We talk to them and they trust us with their dreams and hurts; their triumphs and failures. Whatever this magic is, you as a parent know your child best. So, if you think something isn’t quite right at school, I want you to have all the tools you need to figure out what isn’t right and the resources you need to make it right (or as right as it can be).
It has been a hard thing for me, who is known in education as a strong, unwavering advocate, to figure out how to advocate for my own children as a teacher/momma. I know the teacher side of things, I know their limitations and the FACT that my child is just one of their students even though they love them SO MUCH! I know about the mandates from the district and the state that limit even the teacher’s ability to do what they think is best. And, because I know all of that, I am reluctant to add to their burden at all, even for my most cherished treasures. But, as my daughters need more than they are getting in school, I am learning to advocate for them. Because they have to be my first priority. I am working to choose to allow all that I know about the teacher’s point of view to cause me to advocate for my daughters with kindness and respect, but NOT to allow it to limit my advocacy for them. So, again, as with SO MANY things in this parenting journey, I am working for balance again. This time balancing what my daughters need with the help I can give them at home and the help they HAVE to get at school. And, I want to do all that I can to help you have the ability, knowledge and resources to do the same for your child. If you have any specific questions or topics that I could answer or cover to help you please share them with me!