So the other main questions or issue that I’ve been confronted with and contemplating is the idea and command of joy in trials.

I feel that this idea and plan of God’s has been coming up a lot lately. It comes up in the trials I face in life (so small compared to most people’s, but still hard for me), in Sunday School lessons, in blog posts I read, in Bible Study lessons, in sermons, etc. Since it keeps coming up, I feel that God must be trying to get my attention and help me see things from His perspective when it comes to suffering.

For a long time, I have viewed the command to “count it all joy when you face trials” as a means that God has for supernaturally inspiring us and helping us to avoid the pitfall of bitterness and feeling abandoned by an all powerful, but at times seemingly distant God. I do think that He wants us to “count it all joy” to avoid a perspective colored black with bitterness or hatred, with the lies of abandonment. However, I think that it is less of some nebulous, supernatural interference on His part and more of some natural perspective on suffering; more of an offer to see trials and suffering for what they really are: (perspective shift again) gifts of love.

I fear to write this because I know my sufferings are SO small compared to what others are facing. I write this trembling with the hope that readers would know that this is not something “I have attained, but I press forward” toward, even in my small sufferings. I would hate to add to someone’s suffering by trivializing how difficult and painful their hurt and this shift can be. Pain and suffering are real and hard and often excruciating. But whether it leads us to a breakthrough, a miracle or simply a deeper, more transparent and dependent relationship with our Father and our Savior, it remains that every ounce of pain is a gift. It is a chance for a deepening of faith, a strengthening of relationship that equips us for whatever our work will look like in heaven. And for those who have the honor of not just suffering, but suffering for their faith, a chance to experience the same things Jesus did.

Now let me be completely candid with you. I do not wish for more pain and suffering, regardless of this idea/truth that continues to seep into my soul. The truth that they are truly and completely, lovingly dispensed gifts. I pray not to be counted worthy to suffer as Christ did. I also tentatively and fearfully pray for a change in my heart for that. I don’t share this perspective shift as something we should crave or want. Who wants to suffer and I don’t believe God wants us to suffer. I share it because I simply believe He is willing to allow it in order to give us what is best for us. I just feel that although this doesn’t really alleviate the pain of suffering, it does sweeten the experience and it makes it easier to ask what (do you want me to see or learn or gain) instead of why (me, this, not me). It helps me make some sort of sense of the hurt I see and the love of God I know. It helps this equation match up and deepens the reality and strength of the verse that says, “He works all things together for good for those who love Him.”

So, for faith, growth and wishing I could be more and was further than I am, this is the truth I am considering, meditating on and SLOWLY absorbing into my soul.