So, as you may have noticed, I have not written for awhile. The last time I wrote I made all of these plans for myself to ensure I continued with my personal goals and passions while returning to work. Since I’m a teacher it is easier to keep my health and well being a focus during the summer. Even the summer can be a struggle sometimes since I’m also a wife and momma! But, once you add teacher to wife and momma it is SO easy to get lost!

And I did and I didn’t when I went “back to work”. Last year, my husband and I taught at the same school in the same district. This year, I went back to work without him! Our district has been changing at what feels like a lightening fast pace. As it changes, it is becoming more of an opportunity to practice being a citizen of heaven living in an alien land! So, to come back without him was SOOOOOO hard! That along with the transition for my daughters going back to school (which can be super hard) made going back to school a MUCH more monumental task than usual! Therefore, I did not write any posts and working out and eating right have at times taken a back seat. In that regard I got lost. BUT….

I also chose to get lost in that way in order to stay found in much more important ways. Last year was a SUPER hard year for my husband at work. In fact it was year 3 of extraordinarily hard years for my husband! And each year I gave EVERYTHING I had in order to lighten his load any way possible. Unfortunately that meant that I had less and less to give, I never managed to fill back up! By the end of last year, I was lost emotionally, gone, spent and felt like I had disappeared or desperately wished I had! I knew that in order to fill back up and be there for my family, I had to be purposeful at staying found this year. To accomplish that, I have been more honest about my heart, I’ve asked for more help, I’ve gone back to work without my husband so he can have a break and be a support for me this time. This means my goals didn’t work, they got lost, but I stayed found!

My girls need a momma and they need one that isn’t always impatient, mad or exhausted! My husband needs a wife who smiles more than she yells or cries (or at least as much, maybe!). I need a heart that will be still long enough to allow Jesus and the Holy Spirit to heal and restore and refill it! That means goals may drop, but I keep moving forward!

I don’t feel restored yet, and this has been my hardest year teaching EVER! My heart is with my family and yet it is needed over and over everyday in my classroom. It’s a struggle that I do not know how I will accomplish. I just put one foot in front of the other, raise my eyes to heaven again and again and again! I pray, I read Philippians 4:13, I trust, cry, and pray more. And, I am finally seeing some blue space in my skies to allow me to write again. To allow me keep trying to find the pathway that God has called me to while blooming where I am planted.

Here we go! Stay tuned, or at least check in from time to time, since who knows when I’ll post again. I’m hopeful it will be soon. Let’s walk this journey together! Tell me about your own journey, I’d love to hear from you!