Some days are so hard for me as a momma!! My daughters may drive me crazy and even seem to look for ways to cause frustration! However, even in those hardest moments, I could never say that my daughters are truly mean spirited or hard hearted. Both of my girls are innocent, as 6 and 4 year olds go. I know that they have a sinful nature and they are egocentric and they want their way. But if given a choice (carefully explained and removed from the emotion of the moment), both would always choose something helpful, loving or caring.

So then on days when I hear about or see the evil pressing in on every side, in every place, even “sacred” ones like churches or kids shows, I despair that I brought these innocent babies into a world that wants to crush them, steal their innocence and expose them to every dark, mean and nasty thing. BUT, then I remember that, although, I deeply and desperately craved to be a mother, I did not bring these angels into this depraved world. They were sent by a Heavenly Father whose love for them makes mine seem like hatred.

So, I am left to remember that my “one more thing” this time may not be something that will bring them joy, but it must be something that equips them to become what they were sent here to be; a light set up on a hill, not covered, although I shield their innocence at every opportunity, but exposed. And I MUST remember that just as stars shine brightest in absolute darkness, I must too. Because poor as I am, I am their Momma and as such on of their main examples to follow.

So instead of despair I must at least find determination. Instead of hiding my head in the sand from the hardship and depravity around me I must face it head on with prayer, light and the offer that there is another, higher, narrower way! And, also and perhaps hardest of all, I must allow them the opportunity to shine. Like when my 6 year old writes a letter to a friend and gives it to them in front of other children and makes them open it and read it in front of everyone. I want to make her stop, I want to tell her its okay, he can read it later. Because what if he doesn’t respond how she expects? What if the other students make fun of her? What if her heart is hurt, or worse yet, broken? I have to let her be herself. I have to let her stand there and take what comes. I’m grateful that this time she got a crooked smile and only a little misinterpretation of her use of the word love from the onlookers. Because she is innocent and she loves her friend like she loves her sister. (I know because I asked, I have to make sure that innocence remains after all!!)

So, I have to let go and let them shine because it will brighten others’ days and it will most importantly Glorify God. And when there are heartbreaks, I will get to be His hands and feet and hugs and kisses and He will mend my heart when it breaks with theirs. And, I must shine, too! Because it isn’t just “someone” who is watching, it’s my two angels who I love with all that I am and so far beyond myself. Even so, my love is nothing compared to their Father’s, and I am SO grateful that He also happens to be the one holding this WHOLE, messy, dark AND LIGHT world!!